So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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