Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize