please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize