My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
