I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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