There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
