I wanna passion pit in your ass
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize