I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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