just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize