So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
