apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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