Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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