He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
