Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
