no, he came in my armpit
I think my vagina is haunted
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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