last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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