how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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