Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
