Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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