Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
