Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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