Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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