i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
