You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
