she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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