I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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