What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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