ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize