Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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