Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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