I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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