Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
