Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize