I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
