I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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