i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
