If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
