5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
