Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Small penises have feelings too.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
