I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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