The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
