apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
