Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
