It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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