FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize