definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
that is very illegal...i love you.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize