we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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