4 words: hood of his car
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
