one two three fourrrrnication!
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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