i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
