Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I skipped work to stalk him.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
