We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
