what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
