Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he fucked my hip out of place.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
