would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
