So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
