Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
