i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
