Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
