i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
