i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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