You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I think my vagina is haunted
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
