Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
